“When I say Change, I mean Evolve, but my old friends, they just, Dissolve” (Steve Lacy, That’s No Fun)
Are you ready to evolve and embrace? Or dissolve and dissipate?
My one-week internship experience with Encompassing has felt a lot like my relationship with music. At 16, I am still in the process of exploring different interests, while already holding a few passions close to me, singing and learning new songs being among the strongest.
Being given the opportunity to learn about Existential Therapy at this practice, I approached in a way of an open mind and a willingness to grow into ideas that were unfamiliar to me. Much like how I approach a new song, I didn’t expect to understand everything immediately, but instead allowed myself to listen, absorb, and gradually make sense of it over time.
No matter the time or day, whenever I need to cheer myself up after a silly disagreement or a difficult moment, I often find myself humming random tunes or turning up my favourite song and completely immersing myself in the music. As the saying goes, all I really need is “my guitar and serotonin” (Steve Lacy).
However, learning music is not always easy. There are moments when I get stuck on a note or a specific run (a rapid sequence of notes sung or played consecutively), and I end up feeling frustrated with myself. Experiences like these have taught me the value of stepping back and approaching challenges from a different perspective. This is something I hope to apply through the diffusion technique and lessons I have learned during my time here as well.
I hope this brief reflection resonates with the triumphs and frustrations that come with learning something new, and highlights the importance of embracing both, as part of the learning process.
Learning a New Song
As an avid Spotify listener, I am fortunate to have been exposed to a wide range of artists, songs, and, most importantly, stories. With millions of tracks available and my naturally curious nature, I often try to listen to and learn a new song every day, simply because I find it enjoyable.
In many ways, this reflects meeting new people. Just as there are countless music genres and subgenres, there are also countless personality types. Getting to know different people, learning about their backgrounds, and understanding their perspectives, much like my experience here at Encompassing, feels similar to discovering a new genre of music or learning a new song.
For example, meeting someone with a strong and determined mindset reminds me of learning how to belt (a singing technique used to project powerful high notes). Meanwhile, meeting someone who is gentle and kind feels like learning to sing with a lighter tone or developing vibrato (a subtle fluctuation in pitch while sustaining a note). Each person, like each song, offers something unique to learn.
These experiences spark my curiosity and encourage me to explore uncertainties more deeply. This is one of the reasons I was drawn to learning about Existential Therapy and the insights it offers into life’s questions and meanings. Whether through meeting new people or learning new songs, there is always something new to discover.
Openness and Adaptability
As a perfectionist, I often find myself becoming frustrated when I am unable to perform something exactly the way I want to. One example is when learning songs on the guitar. There are times when I come across a difficult chord progression, a sequence of chords played one after another, and despite repeated practice, I cannot play it flawlessly. When this happens, I tend to become discouraged and impatient with myself.
This experience came to mind when I read a quote from Gary in the “I Can Be” article A Team Confession: “That pressure to be perfect, to show up, to say something worthwhile, that’s what stunts creativity.” The quote resonated with me because I realised that my desire for perfection can sometimes prevent me from making progress. Instead of focusing on learning and improving, I become overly focused on achieving the perfect outcome.
I noticed this tendency not only while learning guitar but also throughout this week. Whether I was writing, conducting research, or trying to understand a new concept, I occasionally reached points where I felt stuck and considered giving up. However, I realised that growth often comes from working through these moments of difficulty.
Just as I eventually learn challenging chord progressions through persistence and practice, I have also learned to adapt when faced with obstacles in other tasks. By pushing through frustration rather than letting it stop me, I am often able to overcome challenges and achieve results that I initially thought were beyond my abilities.
No Set of Rules and Regulations
Oftentimes, people assume that learning the guitar or learning how to sing various songs must be highly structured and organised. However, that isn’t always the nature of learning. It doesn’t necessarily have to follow a strict format or routine.
I remember when my guitar teacher gave me the opportunity to perform at a small gig in a jazz restaurant. It was completely outside of my comfort zone. There was no soundcheck (a preliminary test of audio equipment before a live performance or recording session), no prior rehearsal with the band, and I had never even met the people I would be performing alongside.
As someone who is heavily involved in my school’s music programmes, this experience felt very unusual. No practice? No meeting the band beforehand? It all seemed strange to me. However, I will always remember what my teacher said: “This is a real performance, Tia. Not your fancy soundchecks and your fancy equipment. This is what brings people together.” At that moment, I realised that I needed to step out of my shell and experience what performing was really like.
That experience has stayed with me ever since. It reminds me that we don’t always have to approach things through a rigid system or set regime. We pursue activities because we enjoy them and because they are meaningful to us.
I apply this same mindset to the day-to-day tasks that are assigned to me. I don’t always need to follow a perfect structure, nor should I allow myself to become overwhelmed by one. This connects closely to the overarching idea of existentialism, which emphasises freedom, choice, and personal liberation. It is a lesson that I will continue to carry with me long after this experience.
The Final Note
In the end, whether I am learning a new song, meeting new people, or navigating unfamiliar chords, this experience has reminded me that growth rarely follows a clean script. It is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes slightly off-key, but that is exactly what makes it meaningful. Every moment of frustration or uncertainty has quietly turned into something I can learn from, even if I do not realise it at first.
If anything, I am learning to lean into the imperfections rather than fight them, to treat uncertainty less like a wrong note and more like part of the melody. After all, not every performance needs to be polished to be real. So maybe the goal was never to “get it right” all the time, but simply to keep playing, keep evolving, and let the music unfold as it is meant to.
So as I step away from this experience, I am left with the same question I began with, what will you choose: to evolve and embrace the unknown, or dissolve into what is familiar?
About the Author
Tia Bhagat
Hi, I'm Tia! I’m an aspiring IB student at UWCSEA East campus, hoping to one day open my own counselling practice. If I had to describe myself in a few words, I’d say I’m inviting, outgoing, and authentic. My biggest passion is music, especially expressing myself through storytelling and singing.
Through my short-term internship here at Encompassing Therapy and Counselling, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and learning a variety of topics with guidance from Dr. Mag and her team.
