“The summer of my wildest dreams, a guide to having the best summer as a teenage girl”
As I’m sitting in my grandparents’ humble home in the spicy heart of South India, Chennai, I find myself reflecting on the past few weeks, which have somehow become some of the best weeks of my life. And I can summarize this summer in two words: Summer. School.
Let’s rewind.
Six months ago, I decided it was time to start planning my summer well in advance because, as a Type A person (a behaviour pattern marked by high ambition, competitiveness, and a constant sense of urgency), I like having a plan. I figured the best way to kick-start my summer as an aspiring International Baccalaureate student was to join a summer programme. Why? Because, let’s be honest, it’s a lot more productive than doomscrolling. What I didn’t expect was how much it would change me.
I chose to study the foundations of early childhood development, thinking I’d simply learn about how children grow and develop. Instead, I found myself learning just as much about people, relationships as I did about myself. I was introduced to a multifaceted array of theories, and people, who shared similar interests, but also differed in backgrounds and specialties. Somewhere along the way, I also came across existentialism. As teenagers, that idea feels especially relevant. We’re constantly asked what subjects we’re taking, what career we want, and where we see ourselves in ten years.
Sometimes it feels like we’re expected to have our entire lives figured out before we’ve even figured out ourselves.
This summer reminded me that maybe growing up isn’t about having all the answers. Maybe it’s about asking better questions, staying curious, and having the courage to be authentic, even when you don’t know exactly where you’re going.
So, come along as I explore development, existentialism, and what turned out to be the perfect summer.
Children developing, or me developing?
I decided to learn about foundations of early childhood development because the interest in how children were able to develop senses, emotions, and the natural ability to do things was always only in my mind, therefore, when I saw the course description, I truly thought this was completely made for me. I walked into the classroom thinking I would walk away as a completely different person who knew all about kids, but instead, I walked away learning a lot about why I am the way I am and why my friends are the way they are.
It amazed me how different everyone’s stories were. I knew why I took this course, but why did the people who came to be my friends take this course? It all came down to two things, individuality, and surroundings.
My one takeaway from this program was that the reasons children become who they are, are from the experiences and anecdotes they are exposed to. Whether it’s a family member going through something, sexuality, or their own interests, everyone decided to come do this course for themselves. I feel this was mirrored in what we actually learnt in the course too.
Theorists. Bronfenbrenner, Piaget, Vygotsky, these aren’t just household names for developmental psychologists, moreso, they really got me thinking about how even highly respected adults have perspectives that differ from common societal norms.
Bronfenbrenner made one of the most present ecological models to visualise layers of a child’s development in relationships, and when then Existential Therapy and therapy in general could be in the outermost layer, could now be in one of the closer layers, this also encapsulates the inter-changingness of how theories could be as well.
Piaget challenged one of society’s most common analogies of children, that they should just be. However, his studies have shown that children need to touch things, interact with things, to become true learners and be distinct to themselves.
On the flip side, Vygotsky believed the same thing, but his studies showed that children can truly develop by practicing, “practice makes perfect” after all doesn’t it?
Looking back, both the people I met and the theories I studied taught me the same lesson, that our individuality is not something we are born with, but something we continuously build through the people, environments, and experiences that surround us.
Intertwining relations?
One thing that I didn’t expect to learn during this programme had nothing to do with children at all. It was about relationships. Not just friendships, but the invisible ways we perceive one another, respond to each other, and quietly shape the people around us.
Before this summer, I thought relationships were built almost entirely on common interests. If two people liked the same things, they would naturally get along. Simple. But spending every day with people from different countries, cultures, and life experiences made me realise that relationships are much more complicated than that.
Two people can witness the exact same conversation and walk away with completely different interpretations of what happened. Our perceptions are filtered through our own experiences, values, and stories. In many ways, we never react to situations exactly as they are, but as we understand them to be.
This became even more prevalent when reminded of relational attitudes. Every interaction, whether with a professor, a classmate, or even a child, carries an unspoken exchange of understanding.
Sometimes people simply want to feel heard before they want advice. Sometimes a smile says more than an explanation ever could.
It made me wonder how many misunderstandings happen not because people don’t care, but because they perceive care differently.
Perfect Summer
So there we have it, my “perfect summer. “Though, looking back, it wasn’t completely perfect, and maybe that’s exactly why it meant so much.
It wasn’t perfect because everything went according to plan; it was perfect because it validated so many thoughts, interests, and questions I had been carrying with me for years. It gave me an environment where I felt genuinely comfortable being myself, surrounded by people who were just as curious and passionate as I was.
I learnt far more than developmental theories and practical applications. I learnt about perspectives, relationships, and the countless ways our experiences shape who we become. Most importantly, I learnt more about myself, how I think, what I value, and the kind of person I hope to continue becoming.
If this summer taught me anything, it’s that growth doesn’t always come from having all the answers. Sometimes, it comes from finding a place where you’re free to ask the questions you’ve always wanted to ask.
And the best thing? It was the conversations and experiences throughout the programme that kept bringing me back to the existential ideas I had always found fascinating. Realising that relationships aren’t just things we have; they’re part of how we discover who we are. We understand ourselves through other people. Every conversation becomes a mirror, reflecting parts of ourselves we hadn’t noticed before.
Perhaps that’s why leaving the programme was so difficult. It wasn’t just because I was saying goodbye to new friends, but because I was leaving behind the versions of myself that only existed because of the people I met there.
About the Author
Tia Bhagat
Hi, I'm Tia! I’m an aspiring IB student at UWCSEA East campus, hoping to one day open my own counselling practice. If I had to describe myself in a few words, I’d say I’m inviting, outgoing, and authentic. My biggest passion is music, especially expressing myself through storytelling and singing.
Through my short-term internship here at Encompassing Therapy and Counselling, I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and learning a variety of topics with guidance from Dr. Mag and her team.
