Starting therapy is rarely a random decision.
Most people don’t wake up one morning and think, “You know what, let me try therapy today.” It’s usually something that has been sitting in the background for a while. A thought that keeps returning. A pattern that won’t resolve. A feeling that doesn’t quite go away.
Deciding to undergo therapy is not just booking appointments. It is a commitment. Not to your therapist —but to yourself.
For therapy to be effective, it is important that we are not only able to commit ourselves to working in the therapy room but to also engage with what we have learnt about ourselves in the week before we bring it back to therapy again.
It is in the dance of taking our issues into the room, living it out in our lives and bringing newfound meanings, ideas and questions back into the room that often contributes to seeing quicker changes in clients’ lives.
If you’re thinking of taking part in this dance, here’s what you should know before you begin.
Therapist Shopping
There’s something people don’t talk about enough: You are allowed to “shop” for a therapist.
Therapist shopping simply means taking the time to explore your options before committing. It means reading profiles, understanding different approaches, having initial conversations, and asking questions.
I recall the time when I was seeking out a paediatrician when I had to give birth at home and I wasn’t automatically assigned one like in a hospital. My doula had advised me to actively go out and speak with doctors to find out how they work and, more importantly, if their philosophy of care aligns with my own values.
As someone inclined toward a natural approach, I know I wouldn’t be comfortable with a doctor who would default to taking the most aggressive route, such as prescribing antibiotics for every common ailment. And knowing my expectations had allowed me to narrow down my options, leading me to making a paediatrician choice that I was very happy with.
This “paediatrician-shopping” experience reminds me what it is like to be empowered as a client. Applying this empowerment to finding the right therapist, it is important for clients to know what their options are before they decide.
The quality of the relationship matters more than most people realise. You could be sitting across from a highly trained, experienced therapist —and still not feel safe enough to open up. That doesn’t mean therapy doesn’t work. It just means the fit isn’t right.
You are not looking for the “best” therapist in general. You are looking for a therapist who makes sense to you.
When you read about a therapist’s approach, notice how it feels. Do they speak about clients as problems to be solved? Or as people to be understood? Do they position themselves as the expert on your life? Or as someone walking alongside you while you figure it out?
You are allowed to choose. In fact, choosing is already part of the work.
If you’re exploring therapy with Encompassing, we’ve intentionally built space for that discernment.
The Chemistry Session: Why We Start Here
If you decide to reach out to us, the first step is not diving straight into long-term therapy. It begins with a chemistry session.
A chemistry session is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a structured first conversation where we get to understand what brings you here, and you get to understand how we work.
Therapy for me is like a long term partnership, which makes chemistry sessions similar to a first date. During this 50-minute session, the therapist and client are both reflecting on whether they’re aligned in how they approach therapy.
But chemistry sessions are not blind dates. By the time you meet up with a therapist, you should already have a sense of their process or practice and what they stand for. You can do background research via their online platforms or by reaching out to inquire.
The chemistry sessions are also not about unpacking everything immediately. It’s only about assessing fit.
You get to experience how we listen. How we ask questions. How we respond. You get to ask about our approach, our expectations, and what therapy with us might look like. And then you get to decide.
Here at Encompassing, you can either work with me (Dr. Mag) or Gary. We share a belief that therapy is collaborative. You are not here to be fixed. You are not a project. You are someone trying to make sense of your own life.
Therapy with me often involves slowing things down and examining the assumptions you carry about yourself and others. I don’t see you as a problem to solve. I see you as someone navigating systems, histories, and choices. I work best with professionals who are facing uncertainty —whether in the family, in work, as a parent, and other relationships.
Gary, on the other hand, brings a steady and grounded presence into the room. He pays close attention to patterns, especially the ones that repeat across relationships and environments. He mostly caters to young adults navigating life’s big decisions.
Our work in existential therapy tends to be reflective and relational. We are interested in how you understand yourself, your relationships, and your choices. We believe that growth is not forced —it is chosen. And that choice starts from the very first conversation.
The chemistry session protects that choice.
Before You Start: A Few Honest Considerations
One of the most common questions people ask is, “When is the right time to start therapy?”
There isn’t a perfect time.
You don’t have to wait for things to fall apart completely. But you also don’t have to start just because therapy is trending or someone told you that you “should.”
Often, the right time is when you notice something repeating and you’re tired of circling the same ground alone. When you’re willing—even if slightly—to look inward honestly.
Another thing to consider is commitment.
The most fundamental question to check our readiness is “am I open to committing to doing things differently now?” If the answer is “no, I’m not”, then the time is not ripe. It is ok to wait till you are ready.
You should also consider that change takes time. Sometimes, the difficult emotions that we are working on (anxiety, guilt, worry, angst, grief etc) intensifies after sessions. This may not mean therapy is not working. It could mean that emotions underlying our issues are surfacing and it requires time to process them.
It is important to consider how much time you can commit to working on yourself each week. Aside from considering the frequency of therapy (weekly, biweekly, multiple sessions in one week or as-needed sessions), one should consider their capacity to engage with themselves outside of therapy. Are there other priorities in life (e.g. work, family, studies, physical health etc) that will come in the way of working on myself outside of therapy?
And then there’s the practical side: finances.
Let’s face it. Therapy can be expensive. There is no shame in waiting until the timing — emotionally or financially — makes sense.
Therapy is a cumulative process, and we can’t predict when growth will come. Before starting, it’s important to consider whether you can sustain the commitment for more than just one or two sessions. Starting and stopping abruptly can sometimes feel more destabilising than not starting at all.
It is also important to weigh the costs of therapy in the context of an ongoing process instead of the cost of a single session. Am I ready to pay for therapy or would the money be more wisely spent on other areas of my life?
In the event that therapy does not fit your budget at the moment, there are lower cost options to consider. First, check if your insurance covers mental health services. You can also ask your therapist for sliding scale, discounted rates or shorter sessions options.
Alternatively, check if your company offers Employee Assistance Programs (EAP). Read up more here on what to do when therapy is not financially possible.
A Quiet Invitation
If you’ve reached this point, therapy is probably already deep on your mind.
You don’t have to decide today. You don’t have to be completely certain. But you can explore.
Take your time. Read through our website. Understand how we work. Consider booking a chemistry session if you feel ready to see whether it fits.
Therapy is not about becoming someone else. It’s about learning how to stay with yourself.
If that feels like something you’re ready to begin, we’re here when you are.
About the Author
I am a BPS-accredited and SPS-accredited Counselling Psychologist with a Doctorate in Existential Psychology from the New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling in London, U.K. My care philosophy is not to diagnose, label, or categorise but rather to work with the individual in front of me in the here and now.
My clinical credentials certainly play a significant role in defining my professional identity. But to foster a deeper connection and authenticity, I invite you to discover my other “Selves”, the various facets of who I am.
