There is something deeply human about wanting to be seen.
Not just for what we do or what we struggle with, but for the simple fact that we exist. That our lives, in whatever form they take, hold meaning. That who we are matters, even when nothing can be changed.
In many ways, this is what people are searching for when they come to therapy. Not only solutions or relief, but a kind of recognition. A space where their existence is not overlooked, reduced, or dismissed.
This is especially true in existential therapy.
There was a story I came across about a couple’s fight to have their stillborn daughters’ names officially recognised.
On the surface, it may seem like a legal or administrative issue. The children would not go on to use these names in daily life. There would be no practical function tied to that recognition.
And yet, it mattered deeply to the parents. The article three years ago tells their story on fighting for something that, to others, might seem unnecessary.
Their stillborn daughters, Abigail and Lara, will never have the chance to grow up. They would not enter school systems or use their names in official records in the way most people do. From a purely functional perspective, naming them might appear irrelevant.
But for the parents, it was never about function.
It was about acknowledgement. About affirming that their children existed, even if only briefly. That they were not just an absence, or a statistic, or something to be quietly moved past.
When Existence Feels Unseen
Reading this, I found myself sitting with a question.
Why does recognition matter so much, even when nothing else can change?
The parents’ plight and conviction stayed with me. The idea that without acknowledgment, it can feel as though a life did not matter. As though who someone was, or could have been, is erased simply because they are no longer here.
And perhaps this is something we encounter more often than we realise.
Many people do not only suffer because of their problems. They suffer because their experiences feel unseen. Because no one seems to recognise the weight of what they are carrying. Because their existence, in certain moments, feels overlooked or insignificant.
It is not always expressed in such direct terms. But it shows up in quieter ways. In feeling dismissed. In feeling like a burden. In wondering whether anyone truly understands.
In those moments, the pain is not just about what is happening. It is about the sense that it does not matter.
Sitting with an Existential Therapist
This is where existential therapy takes a different stance.
When people ask what it is like to visit an existential therapist, the answer is not primarily about techniques or strategies. It is about a way of being with another person.
As articulated by Daseinanalyst Dr. Miles Groth, existential therapy is a care for the existence of the person, not for what he is. It is an attendance to someone, rather than a treatment of symptoms or a fixing of problems.
In the same way that the parents fought to have their children recognised, existential therapists hold a similar stance in the therapy room. There is an effort to validate the existence of the client. Not because it leads to a practical outcome, but because it matters in itself.
This does not mean that therapy removes all struggles. It does not guarantee that circumstances will change or that difficulties will disappear. There are moments in life where problems cannot be solved in the way we might hope.
But something else can happen.
A person’s autonomy and dignity can be returned to them. Their experiences can be acknowledged without being minimised. Their existence can be met with care, rather than indifference.
In a session, this might feel unfamiliar at first. There may not always be immediate advice or clear solutions. Instead, there is space to explore what it means to be in your situation. To speak about your life in a way that is not rushed or redirected.
You may find that the therapist is less focused on fixing you, and more focused on understanding how you are experiencing your world. There is an attentiveness to your thoughts, your emotions, your hesitations, and even your silences.
Over time, this kind of presence can feel different from what many people are used to.
Because instead of being reduced to a problem to solve, you are met as a person whose existence matters.
Why This Kind of Therapy Matters
The story of Abigail and Lara is not only about grief or loss. It is about something more fundamental. It is about recognition.
It reminds us that even when nothing can be changed, acknowledgment still carries weight. That existence does not need to be justified by function in order to matter.
In therapy, this translates into a different kind of relationship. One that does not begin with “What is wrong?” but with “What is it like to be you?”
For many people, that question alone can feel like a shift.
Visiting an existential therapist is not about finding quick answers. It is about entering a space where your existence is taken seriously.
Where who you are is not dismissed, even when your situation feels uncertain or unresolved.
Where you are met, not as a problem to fix, but as a person to understand.
If you have been feeling unseen, or if you are searching for a space where your experiences can be held with care, you may want to consider what this kind of therapy could offer.
You can learn more about existential therapy or book a session with us to begin that conversation.
About the Author
I am a BPS-accredited and SPS-accredited Counselling Psychologist with a Doctorate in Existential Psychology from the New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling in London, U.K. My care philosophy is not to diagnose, label, or categorise but rather to work with the individual in front of me in the here and now.
My clinical credentials certainly play a significant role in defining my professional identity. But to foster a deeper connection and authenticity, I invite you to discover my other “Selves”, the various facets of who I am.
